Love is a beautiful thing and most times we become too mechanical in expressing it. When our expression of love is limited to what we learnt from TV and not really what comes from our own heart, we have failed big time.
I question things, I hate certain status quos and I don’t like doing things that trend just because it is the norm. Not that these things are not good but sometimes, stereotypes rob us off the ability to be ourselves.
My fianceé understood this about me before we got engaged and it wasn’t a problem for her, in fact, she loves it that way. I love doing things differently because it gives me the opportunity to be expressive the much I can rather than being a love-cyborg.
I don’t send generic text messages copied from SMS sample websites, I don’t pick lines from movies, I don’t pick attitudes from the screens too. I love to say and write my own words, my love notes aren’t things you can find anywhere else but in my heart and that is how it is supposed to be.
I also never fancied public engagements. The reason wasn’t because of anything else other than the fact that engaging her in public will force me to act things that I never meant. I would eventually do things that have become the norm but inside the room where it is just us, we can do our thing for ourselves without any camera forcing attitudes out of us.
Had I decided to have a public engagement, I would try to script my drama, hide a ring in cold stone ice cream and pray she doesn’t swallow it. Then, I would kneel down immediately she discovers the ring and I would propose marriage while hidden cameramen and friends would burst out from nowhere with cheers!
Or perhaps, I would book a VIP lounge, decorate the entire place with flowers and candles and tell her there is a little party happening there. I would pay the waiters to serve her the ring while I kneel down to pop up the question. I would make a video and have them display it on TV all over the building.
Being a scriptwriter, I would have done so much better if I went for a drama but I’d rather invest that energy in scripting and shooting a documentary of how our relationship started and how we finally got engaged. It’s a web series I still think I would develop being that she is one foot into the movie industry.
July 22, she had visited.
Princess had a project in Asaba that evening and decided to come over in the morning.
We were discussing that morning which eventually led to a little argument. She told me she was going to take a little walk outside. I didn’t respond, I am always quieter and withdrawn whenever we have a fight even though these days I am getting better.
When she left the house, I retired into the bathroom, took my bath and left the house, leaving the keys in a spot only she could figure out. I met her while heading towards the gate and didn’t talk to her. I had something in mind and it was all part of the plan. I took advantage of our fight and it worked amazingly well.
I had gone to a jewellery store to purchase a ring. I have always had plans to engage her but didn’t know how to go about it. Even to the point that I did, I didn’t follow any script.
The first store I went to had no traditional engagement ring, I didn’t even know the size of her finger. I was looking for a ring that would be adjustable and the storekeeper said
“Sir, these days, any ring can be used as an engagement ring. Gone are the days when engagement rings have to be a specific type of ring. Just buy her any ring, at least, you can choose from these adjustable rings”
I couldn’t find something of good quality but I purchased one finally. When I left the store, I started having doubts that I made the right decision by buying that ring. I loved the extra ring box that I bought but the ring itself didn’t catch my fancy. I had to go to another ring store.
This time, I had to buy a more traditional engagement ring. Because I couldn’t figure out the size of her finger, the storekeeper asked for her picture and then made a choice for me. I bought the new ring and left the old one behind. My fiancée doesn’t wear fancy rings and necklaces, it would be of no use to her.
I got home after buying some groceries. She was lying in the room and had said she wasn’t feeling so strong. I sat on the desk drawing letters on a piece of paper with the inscription “let’s get married”. I didn’t know how to bring it up, I just needed to keep it where she would find it but I wanted her to find it immediately.
I went into the sitting room and noticed a bottle of coca-cola on the centre table, she had probably bought it while I was away. Luckily, when coming back home, I bought her snacks. The whole dots connected and I got an idea of what to do.
I kept the paper on top of the bottle and closed my windows and curtains so that air doesn’t blow the paper away and I kept the snacks in the kitchen. The reason was that I needed a little time to put myself in order. At least, before she would walk from the kitchen to the sitting room, I would have made up my mind on how to properly propose.
The next thing was how to make her get up from the bed. I knew she was not feeling well and it would be insensitive of me if I should ask her to go get the snacks for herself instead of serving it to her. I allowed some minutes to pass but I was losing my patience.
“I got snacks for you. I thought you would be hungry” I broke the silence “and it’s baked and stuffed with lots of things. If you don’t eat it now, it may sour”
“What sort of snacks is that” she smiled
“Ermmm… It is sausage and I am sure it will taste nice with that Coke you left in the sitting room” I responded
“Can you get it for me?” She asked
I thought for a while “actually, there is a reason I want you to go get it yourself. You aren’t feeling strong and I think you’ll feel better if you walk around” I told her
The look in her eyes showed she knew there was something more, she saw me drawing letters on a paper and she must have caught me smiling when doing that but she just couldn’t place it, she didn’t know what it was about and she didn’t know what I did with the paper.
Without much ado, she got up and left the room. I watched her walk into the kitchen first and I quickly reached for where I had hidden the ring initially. I was having serious struggles in my mind and was wondering if I should kneel down, lie down or sit down to propose.
I didn’t want to act anything, I just wanted to be myself and she has known me so well and would dictate if I was acting, playing according to a script or just being myself. We enjoy ourselves better when we are just ourselves. I decided I would just stand at the door with the ring open and the paper is enough to make my intentions known.
Before I could make up my mind, I heard a shout of excitement from the room, she rushed to the room and saw me standing at the door with the ring open. Her fingers were already stretched towards me without waiting for me to pop the rituals. She made it so easy for me like she had always done. I slid the ring through her finger as she wore it. We sealed it with a hug that lasted several minutes with visible excitement all over her.
“I think you need to eat your snacks now and rest” I whispered into her ears
“No! I just want to be where I am right now” she responded “I don’t feel sick anymore and it’s like I have eaten to my full”
We laughed it over.
Princess has a way of making things easier for me. We met in 2014 while I was at National Open University, Abagana but she wasn’t anywhere near the picture in my head. Many years later, she was going to chat me up to ask me certain questions and that was how our love story started.
She made it easier for me to love her, she made it easier for me to make up my mind on getting married to her and now she made it easier for me to propose. There are people that come into your life and they simplify the most difficult tasks in your life. Don’t mistake my prolific writing skills with being a verbally expressive person. I don’t talk till you get me to talk, she seems to have the key.
I personally didn’t know there was something special about engagement. Engaging her officially and having her wear my ring gave me a greater sense of responsibility, it made my loyalty towards her firmer and improved my relationship with her. Other events that followed including visiting her family and initiating the process of marriage made the bond only stronger and now I could boldly hold her hands while walking on the road and I could boldly refer to her as my woman.
There was a problem after she had worn the ring. It wasn’t her size! She cared less, the promise of marriage was all she needed. We got a new ring later. I didn’t kneel down to propose, I didn’t put up public stunts, there was no drama and of course, it was beautiful. The beauty of it came from the sincerity of our hearts.
Obviously, it has been her desire to spend the rest of her life on earth with me and the desire is mutual which had only become stronger after the engagement. Kneeling down or not kneeling down wasn’t a factor, the most important thing was that we have fixed the puzzles and realized that we are just good together.
Love is beautiful and I am in love.