No more promises
I stopped making promises.
Sometimes, we make promises and don’t fulfil them not because we don’t want to but because things didn’t happen as fast or as slow as we had thought it would. We weren’t so accurate with the timing and so things we thought could be in place weren’t in place when we thought they should.
Unfortunately, the expectant person doesn’t see our heart, they don’t see our own dashed hopes, they don’t see the struggles we had just to try meeting up. All they know is that we didn’t keep to our words.
If I can’t do it immediately, I’ll just say “Sorry, I can’t do it at the moment.” No more “Let me see what I can do”. There is no such thing as making promises in faith. If I can’t but you a car now, I shouldn’t make promises of a car.
Jesus said “Let your yes be yes and your no be no”
In other words “agree to what you can do. Don’t try what you can’t do. Stand by your words”
If I don’t have it now, I can’t give it to you. If I will have it tomorrow, then ask me tomorrow, not today.
You may never know this, but sometimes even those your Uncles who made promises to you had high hopes, perhaps they had debtors who promised to pay, they had prospects who they thought was going to pay soon…
They promised you because they love you but they became demonized because they couldn’t meet up. Some promised to see us through school, they promised to finance our startup, they promised to sponsor our projects once we take the step but they suddenly went mute after we had taken a step.
Some went mute because they don’t know how to look us in the face when it seems they have failed to keep to their words.
Forget that you may see them drive cars, you may see them post good pictures on social media, you may see them teach the word with so much boldness that you often think “life is so cool for him, he surely has everything”, you may even see them host events but you don’t see the debts and bills behind those events. You don’t see their own dashed hopes, you don’t see that they haven’t done any business for a long time.
Many of us are going through tough times, we just don’t let the time dictate our disposition. Perhaps, when you asked for our financial help, your account was 46.00 Naira but ours was 0.7 Naira. It is hard to believe because we do not look like it and we refuse to look like it.
When people couldn’t fulfil a promise such as financial help, especially when they have always tried to be there for you in the past, don’t demonize them, don’t think they didn’t want to help you.
Don’t be angry with people when they say “I am sorry, I can’t help you with this at the moment”. Sometimes, the reason we say “let me see what I can do” is because we can’t afford to see you feel terrible but it gets worse when we end up not being able to do anything…
So, if I have ever made a promise to you and couldn’t fulfil it, it’s because things didn’t turn out as fast as I thought it could. If I tell you that I can’t help you, please do not feel I meant “I don’t want to help you”.
I have decided to stop making promises if I don’t have what you need at the moment you asked for it. This is because you aren’t just the one who feels hurt, I do too.
Just a random thought.