“Life is a risk, we must take risk after all.” We usually hear people say this and it may seem to be true in the world of business. But on marriage? This doesn’t apply! Don’t marry on this note.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment and that is why it is very important not to enter what you aren’t sure of. Marriage isn’t that part of the future that should be full of uncertainties. It isn’t like a Ponzi scheme where you invest money without any form of guarantee.
Marriage isn’t one of those things you tell people “life is a risk, take a risk”, nope, you aren’t supposed to take risk in marriage, you are supposed to be clear about it before threading that part. Does that mean people don’t marry without conviction? They do but it doesn’t make it ideal.
This why many people are in abuses:
- They saw the signs but they didn’t take it seriously. I put it to you, the signs are always there. They may not be loud, but they are there. Toxic people can’t pretend for long. The problem is that people see it but allow emotions to cloud their sense of judgement.
- They saw the signs but thought he/she would change. Many people noticed troubling signs in their relationship with a toxic and abusive person but they felt they had invested so much into it and they were willing to walk the walk hoping that they would cross the bridge when they get there. This has cost people their lives.
- They closed their eyes not to see the signs. Perhaps were carried away by things that weren’t important. There are people who are willing to commit themselves to you as long as you can always foot their bills and take care of their families. They don’t value themselves, they believe they don’t deserve better and therefore they can settle for anything.
- They didn’t care to look, they just jumped into it. Some people jumped into marriage because they are already getting old or because of societal or parental pressure. Getting married was just what they felt would make them fulfilled.
Most failed marriages are results of the above. And most of those marriages also had “kneeling down and aww-ing creative proposals”
Marriage is such a big deal that you can’t afford to treat like Ponzi scheme where you just try your luck and invest two to get four. This is a lifetime commitment and you need to clearly walk into it know what it entails.
If you are dating someone with very anger issues, you must decide if this is what you are willing to live with. Some people can live with it, some people can’t. If you are dating a loose person, someone who can’t be sexually faithful to you, you must decide if this is what you have to live with. If you can live with it, fine but if you can’t, walk away!
Never marry someone in the pool of uncertainty. Never assume people would change because marriage doesn’t change a person, it reveals the persons character even further. When people are yet to fully have you, they may not show all of their bad sides because they have to remain acceptable but the moment the deal is sealed, that is when they will come out fully of their shelve.
However, no matter how one pretends, if you are discerning, you’ll see signs and these signs aren’t always loud but they are also not hard to decode. When a man slaps you for the first time, always expect that it may happen again and if it is something you can’t live with, then you’ve got to take a walk.
You may not be sure of the future but you should be sure of who you are going into that future of uncertainties with. You should be sure of your limits and what you can condone. This will greatly help in making the right decision in marriage.