The Curse Called “Man Enough”

A broke man is an angry man. Sometimes, frustration makes people unnecessarily angry and some men are like this because of societal pressure and expectations.

Everyone is expecting him to blow, his wife or partner is depending on him, his children are depending on him, his relatives are depending on him and somehow, everyone sees it as his fault if he hasn’t “blow”.

With all these expectations, this man wakes up every day, look himself in the mirror and see a failure. Yes, one time or another he feels motivated by a new idea but once his strategies fail, he feels he has failed everyone on his shoulder and he feels frustrated. Men are usually burdened with responsibilities that are beyond them.

He wants to cry it out but he can’t because the society says “men don’t cry” and tears won’t make him look manly before his wife and admirers. He has this feeling that his wife will lose confidence in him when he is way too soft, too soft for a woman’s liking.

He wants to whine but it’s not a man thing. Most women whine out their frustrations, they let their feelings out and relieve themselves of the burden but it’s a different thing for the men. It’s somewhat a shame when a man whines. As they let it build up in them, it forms very bad energy waiting for the right time to explode.

One day, he would lose control of it, he wouldn’t be able to take it any longer. Of course, he has tried to be man enough but even “man enough” has its limit! Then, just a little thing that isn’t worth a shout, he may become bitter with an aggressive surge! The cool ones may get so angry but never lay hands on their prey but the hot ones? It may be a case of physical abuse.

You see, men go through a lot and they mask it up with the false definition of manliness. Because of unresolved issues and frustrations piling up in their hearts, they begin to appear harsh! When they look at their woman, although a part of them loves her, another part of them would say “that’s one of the responsibilities you couldn’t meet”.

For some though, their woman is the antidote to their frustration. She’s not just verbally supportive, she’s materially assisting and discerning. She has learnt him so well that she could hear his emotions from afar.

She knows how to make him let it out, she knows how to make him feel comfortable enough to remove the wig of “man enough” in her presence. She is comfortable seeing his nakedness. It could be the nakedness of his empty pocket, the nakedness of lack of ideas but she these nakedness doesn’t bring contempt, it rather helps her know exactly what covering will fit each part of him.

These men aren’t lucky, they are blessed having a woman who helps them overcome the societal curse called “man enough”, the curse that makes men reject opinions of a woman in the name of “light brain”, the curse that makes men allow bad energy to thrive in their hearts, the curse that makes a lot of men die so early leaving their wives and children whom they are supposed to protect.

Haven’t you noticed? A very high percentage of abusive husbands are poor men or men who were raised in a poor family and couldn’t wear off the mentality that they were raised with. Haven’t you noticed that some men become more caring and happier as long as they are able to meet basic needs without much struggle? Maybe, the word “a hungry man is an angry man” makes more sense now.

They aren’t angry because they hate their wives and children. They are angry because they couldn’t meet up with the demands of society. Sometimes, they begin to pour these aggressions on their wives and sometimes something in them starts telling them “she couldn’t even help you. What else is she worth?”

They look around and see their mates doing well, maybe, as a result of fraud. But who cares? Regardless of how one does it, the society believes it is man’s sole responsibility to provide and then the man leaves his various roles to chase this single society-imposed responsibility because he must meet up to be termed “responsible”.

Most times, the only way they pay attention to their families is to provide material needs and nothing more. Sometimes, they travel to another country in pursuit of money and for years their children will never experience fatherly care because they have been made to think that fatherly care simply means “sending money to the family”.

The danger of this is that it doesn’t end with them. Children are raised to understand this as the standard way of life and they grow up to play the same script their father played.

Do we want a society that is balanced? A society that appreciates and respects the diversity of human? A generation that will preserve strong family values? No matter how we try to avoid it, we must have this comversation.

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