Growing up, we always thought marriage is meant for that one person we love but come to think of it, there isn’t just that one person we love! There are numerous persons in our love book!
We love our parents, we love our siblings, we love our business partners, we love our friends and in fact, there are several people vigorously committed to our lives that we share love with! If we marry for love, should we then go ahead to marry all these persons including our siblings and parents?
I think we weren’t told the truth when we were told to just marry who we love. In Church, we were told, “love your neighbour, your enemies inclusive!” Oh, now you get it. Right?
You can love everyone including those who hate you but you can only marry one person! This means we don’t marry for love, love in itself is not enough to trigger marriage. We marry for purpose!
Many times, people divorce because “I don’t feel it anymore. I like you but I can’t feel that love any more. I just want to move on…” For many people, what we call love is not love but infatuation. I think infatuation is a feeling, attraction is an arousal of interest and love in itself is a decision.
To be with someone for life is a choice we make but FOR A REASON! You don’t marry someone because you feel something and want to be with the person, it is not enough reason. You marry someone because you both share the same values and see a better future together. Marriage should be tied to goals, not just love!
I can love you but not marry you. Perhaps, in the statement of my life pursuit, marriage is just a few months ahead while in the statement of your life pursuit, marriage is four years ahead. Do you see that? When our vision is at odds with each other, we aren’t supposed to try fusing them because it will react and explode.
But, when we both share complementing visions, it will be like putting seeds on fertile soil! I bring the soil, you bring the seed and together we make trees grow! That’s what marriage should be about and not just for the selfish reasons of having you to myself to satisfy my feelings!
Before you start dating someone, there are things you need to consider. Another way; while dating someone, these are things you must put on your priority list! Don’t be carried away by beautiful roses and nice outings! If you are intentional about your life, you’ll also be intentional about who you date.
We all come across those beautiful people who meet out physical spec! They turn us on and turn our necks to every direction of their movement! It is easy to fall for it and say “oh! You are the one I have been waiting for!” But we must always remember this wise Bible Proverb
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last…” – Proverbs 31:30 NLT
Charm is what triggers attraction! It is not bad to get people’s attention but it is wrong to make decisions based on attraction because attraction can be deceptive! Beauty does not last and therefore every decision made based on beauty alone will not stand the test of time!
Some people find it hard to break up and move on from an abusive relationship, they find it hard to move on from a relationship that lacks direction. Relationship isn’t about what makes you happy, a cup of ice cream or one ticket to the movies can make you even happier! Relationship is bigger and beyond finding happiness to fulfilling purpose!
I agree that love is unconditional. If we should love our enemies, then love should not be tied to a condition but you see relationships and marriage? They are strictly conditional!
Out of all the billions of persons in this world, you are choosing just one person to spend the rest of your life with him or her and therefore you must carefully and intentionally enter into the deal! Before you sign, it should be clear what you are doing!
You don’t do business with people just because you love them, you do business with people because they are competent in that line of business. When you want to repair your car, you don’t drive it to the hospital, you drive it to the mechanic! And when you need to do medical checkups, you don’t visit a mechanic, you visit the hospital!
Relationship and marriage are like a business. Don’t do it with just anybody, don’t do it only because you like someone. No matter how much you like a mechanic, you can’t give him yourself to perform medical surgery on you! Be in a relationship with people who are competent for you.
As much as you can love everybody, not everyone deserves you in a relationship.