How do you deal with a relationship where you are striving to earn trust but to no avail? How do you handle a relationship where every of your move is under scrutiny? How do you handle it when your partner trolls on you everywhere, he keeps tabs on who calls you, who sent you a message, who you responded to and who steals few glances from you.
First, it is vital to know that even as one in a relationship, you have every right to find someone else attractive, to even express your admiration to others and be friends with others. A relationship is not a cage, you are not an animal and you don’t need to be held hostage in the name of a relationship.
When your partner is always checking up to know who talks with you, what your friends are up to with you and who likes your pictures on Facebook, it is likely that he is having trust issues. When your partner doesn’t trust you, they will probe you and probe you into a mistake. They will probe and also take advantage of your unguarded moments to exclaim “I said it! You are seeing someone else!”
When he always think there is a skeleton in the cupboard when you want some level of privacy and won’t respect your privacy, you’ve got a toxic relationship to contend with. Some people are very toxic and we find it hard to see the thin line between jealousy and toxicity.
When your partner doesn’t trust you even when you’ve not been caught up in a mess, how much more when he sees you in a mess? Trust issues aren’t just about having less confidence in you, it is also about lacking the ability to stand with you in problems. A man who doesn’t respect you will never stand by you when it is called for.
If (s)he doesn’t trust you now whether for something you did wrong or for his/her own assumptions, it will be hard spending the rest of your lives together. How do you intend to live under the same roof with someone who suspects everything you do? He trolls you on social media, dictates who speaks with you and who doesn’t and you think marriage will make it better?
Bad news, marriage will make it worse!
If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who has trust issues, of all options you have, the best option is to respectfully walk away honourably from that relationship. The major reason to walk away is that no matter what you do, you won’t be trusted! Giving someone else a handshake is a problem for them!
It is understandable if you’ve broken their trust before, you may need to learn how to gain their trust back. If you are also dealing with someone who probably had experienced a series of betrayals, you may need to learn how to get them to trust you.
But, if you can’t get them to trust you again, you’ve got to leave! You can’t teach people what they don’t want to learn, you can’t force a character into someone else. They are responsible for their trust issues and not you. Don’t kill yourself trying to get someone to trust you, don’t stay in a terrible relationship just because you are waiting for a miracle.
If it will take a miracle for them to change for good, then it may also take a miracle for you to have a happy marriage. Many waited for this miracle until the toxicity of those terrible relationships ruined them! Whether you broke their trust or someone else did so in the past and they can’t get themselves to trust you again, you can walk away without regrets! You aren’t the first to betray someone, you won’t be the last. There is no point being in a relationship where you can enjoy trust.
Stay with someone who understands that you can make mistakes but still decide to trust you. Marry someone who respects your space, your friends and your choices. To stay in a place where you aren’t trusted is equivalent to living in hell! Don’t fancy hell, it is not a nice place to stay