“I am dating a girl and we are planning to get married next year. She told me that she doesn’t like cooking or doing the house chores with the excuse that she is a career woman. We’ve not always been together but I noticed it when she visited over the weekend. She didn’t sweep nor cleaned the house, she didn’t bother herself with the kitchen too. It was nothing for me though as it was my routine. I love her but am confused, I am wondering if I can cope. What do I do?” – Name Undisclosed (Originally asked on Gwen Divy’s Wall)
Love is a beautiful thing, we all need to love and be loved. But there is something called commitment. If love is true, commitment to that love is inevitable. Commitment to love is what truly proves it. People don’t always have to do what they like all the time, I get to do my laundries every weekend but I hate laundry! I get to go to work every day even when I don’t feel like, I type on my blog sometimes when I feel inspired but don’t like to write. The sense of responsibility should be able to make people do certain things that they are supposed to do even if they don’t want to do it.
True, you aren’t getting married because you need a cook and you aren’t getting married because you need someone who can wash your clothes. Marriage is about companionship.
I say again, commitment to love is what proves love and not the affirmation of it. Nobody truly likes cooking, but everybody likes eating. If she can’t cook, that’s not the problem. If she is not willing to learn, that’s the problem. If she can cook but doesn’t like to cook, that still isn’t the problem but if she only does what she likes, then there is a big problem. She can also wake up one day and tell you “I don’t like children…”
The reason why she must take care of the house with you when you get married to her is that she is also living in the house and the house needs to be taken care of. The reason why she must have to take part in cooking is that she eats too! It would have been great if she said: “I don’t like eating.”
If she isn’t showing any sense of commitment in this relationship, it means it’s worth nothing to her. She’s a career woman and that’s very amazing! We love career women but, you’re also a career man. Which rule says career people don’t cook or do house chores?
No one is saying that cooking belongs to a woman. God knows I’ll always compete my wife in the kitchen unless she’s comfortable doing it all by herself and she wants to but aside that, I’ll always wake up in the morning when it’s my turn to cook and serve her on the bed. But, if she isn’t ready to do the same, crosses her legs and tell me she’s a career woman… Then it’s a no-no, we aren’t and can’t get married!
It’s still early to redefine what you want. Marriage is a lifetime thing, going through a divorce and living with it isn’t an option you’d like to choose in case things go south after marriage. It’s better to sort it out now than trying coping for a lifetime.
I hope this helps.
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