A young woman once complained to me that her husband is putting so much pressure on her to do more than she is doing sexually. She knew she was doing well already but he keeps introducing unhealthy options like binding her on the bed, blindfolding her and rough handling her during sex. Sometimes he prefers switching to her anus and anytime she objects he would come up with the popular line “if you don’t satisfy me sexually, you may be pushing me to another woman.”
How would you have defined sexual satisfaction the way you defined it today if you have not explored various sexual opportunities? What some people call sexual satisfaction today is simply an impossible fantasy which they have built up in their head over time using several sexual encounters. Some have experimented beyond the normal, opened themselves up to dangerous fantasies and heaping the burden on someone else.
Some women demand so much from their husbands that they push these men to surgically or medically increase their penis. Why? These ladies in the past have so much engaged with men of several sizes to the point that they keep fantasizing that it is “the bigger, the better.” Some have pushed their men into taking drugs so that they can last in bed for one hour and therefore making ten minutes or even less look as though it is not normal. Their men would take these drugs and keep hurting their body organs in a bid to meet up with someone’s new idea of “sexual satisfaction”.
Some people get their idea of sexual satisfaction from pornographic movies. Just the way you watch movies and see people act as though they are dead is the same way these pornographic movies give people the wrong idea of what satisfaction is. If not that people have explored various sexual opportunities or fed their mind with wrong contents from the media about sex, on what basis would they have ascertained what sexual satisfaction is?
Today, people feel they aren’t good enough because of the size of their sexual organs or the few minutes they would last on the bed when having an intimate encounter with their partner. So many relationships started having problems from here. Many sexually healthy and normal people have been pushed to start engaging themselves in absolute nonsense just to be glorified with the false title of “sexual satisfactory”.
You see, the reason why God designed sex for married couples is so that people don’t make the mistake of tasting what they can’t have and eventually start demanding such taste from someone else who is different. Another reason is this when our sexual experience has to be with our spouse, we wouldn’t have those useless ideas of ” sexual satisfaction” that don’t even exist.
When you tune in to the media, you see all manner of adverts for the increase of the sexual organs from the normal size to abnormal sizes, you also see adverts for drugs that would make one stay on sex for hours. This way, they are creating an impression that few minutes of sex isn’t normal, they are creating an impression that the size of your sexual organs isn’t normal. People had gone to increase their breasts, buttocks, waist, penis and so on because they feel very inferior about themselves!
When a man or woman can’t function sexually, it is a problem that needs attention. It could be medical, emotional it psychological attention that they need and it is not wrong to seek a way out of the problem. But when they can function properly and yet seek unnecessary solutions to further satisfy their partner sexually, then there is a problem. Don’t let people put you into trouble with their definitions of sexual satisfaction. Don’t even think that you can keep them faithful to yourself by being “sexually satisfying”. What satisfies them today would suddenly not satisfy them again tomorrow.
Don’t let anyone put on you, the burden of all the years of unnecessary sexual encounters they have exposed themselves to. Some women, in their careless days, have given themselves up to men who take tramadol for sex, some have allowed themselves to be used sexually by numerous men at the same time as a process of cult initiation. When they finally end up in marriage with a man who doesn’t take tramadol for sex, they feel he isn’t sexually satisfying and some would want to engage in such orgy they had experienced before. It would not have been that way if they never unlocked those abnormal desires.
A woman once told me that her husband suddenly began to demand threesome and because she doesn’t want to lose him, she is considering inviting her best friend over. Isn’t that absurd? Very disgusting! Her husband must have unlocked those bizarre desires because he had tasted it or filled his mind with such nonsense to an extent. Don’t let anyone use you as a tool to satisfy their unhealthy desires, walk away instead.
This is also why it is important to understand the sexual philosophy of someone before getting into a union with him or her. We should stop playing religious during courtship. Always bring in topics that would gradually throw light on what they think about sex. It is not wrong to discuss sex before marriage because you need to understand if it is something you can handle. Create an atmosphere that can make people open up to you about their sexual experiences or desires. Don’t just get married because you both share some vision, don’t just get married because you are emotionally compatible, don’t just get married because you feel attracted to each other… Also, put sexual compatibility in check. It may not look like a problem in the beginning but this is a mistake you should not afford!
Whatever you explore will increase or add to your desires. I have always heard ugly stories about travelling on boats but one day, necessity demanded that I travel by boat. After the experience, I have always desired opportunities to travel by boat. A desire was birthed, I had never desired it until I experienced it. When people explore wrongly, they will develop the wrong desires.
Some people were very satisfied with their spouse until they decided to know what it feels like with another man or woman. They aren’t cheating on their spouses because the other person satisfies them, they cheat because they are looking for the satisfaction that doesn’t exist. It is like chasing after the rainbow, it always seems near and yet you aren’t getting there. Some people think they are on the verge of getting satisfied but it never comes. They would feel, maybe, if I should have sex with someone whose penis is bigger, I would be more satisfied and then they eventually meet someone with a bigger penis. But after the experience, they would feel that maybe, if it was a little bigger, they would be more satisfied and they go ahead looking for another bigger stuff. This way, they keep developing abnormal desires.
You have to take control of your desires, you have to understand that taste can be a threat to your marriage. Don’t taste what you don’t need, don’t explore or develop unhealthy desires. If you have ever seen yourself moving that direction, you’re heading towards destruction and you need to stop and ask yourself questions. Don’t unlock desires that are bad for you and harmful to others and don’t allow anybody uses you to satisfy desires you weren’t made for. Your anus isn’t designed for sex, so don’t make it available. You are special and therefore you can’t sign up for a threesome. If people insist that you must hurt yourself to satisfy them sexually, walk away and stay on the safe side.
Be intentional about what you taste, don’t be swayed around by undefined pleasure. Don’t also hurt others when you have exposed yourself to dangerous and unhealthy desires. Seek rehabilitation, start renewing your mind with the right thoughts and the right desires. It may take time but it is possible.
Once again, what we call satisfaction may not even exist.