I am not one of those persons who would judge you for divorcing your spouse but I am not also one of those who would tell you “if you aren’t happy in that marriage anymore, walk away!” If you may have to walk away from an unhappy marriage, you may keep walking away from all marriages in the case that you don’t find happiness in any of them. What if all you needed to do was introduce happiness into that marriage?
What do you do to a crumbling business? Do you walk away from it in the first instance? Is shutting down the business the first solution that comes to your mind? No, what you do is that you begin to find ways to restore your business. It may involve training yourself in certain areas, investing more money, giving the business another approach and making some other important choices.
When you have personal issues, what do you do? Commit suicide? It is true that some do commit suicide but research has shown that if they had taken more time, they would have changed their minds about suicide because suicide has never been an option or at least a solution!
When we say that marriage is for better for worse, we aren’t saying that you should expect the worse in your marriage. However, in the case that storm rises in your marriage, you don’t jump off the boat, you engage all your skills in pulling the boat through the storm. Some marriages became sweeter after the storm but truthfully speaking, some couldn’t survive the storm.
It’s not a crime if your marriage is one of those that survived the storm, it’s not a crime if you try your best in keeping that marriage. At least, I have parents who didn’t have it smooth with themselves in the beginning. I grew up to experience a little of that storm but today, you would never believe there was a challenge they pulled through from! You would never believe that there were was a time walking away from the marriage was being considered.
What changed? They decided to look at that challenge from another perspective, they decided to give it another approach and perhaps they applied another strategy different from what they had been doing before. If you truly love something, you fight for it! You may not even strongly appreciate what you didn’t fight for. When you have to fight for your freedom, you’ll appreciate that freedom when it finally comes! We appreciate what we fought for more than what we just picked on the roadside.
I am not saying that walking away from marriage makes you a bad person, I am not saying it means you didn’t fight to save your marriage. I am only saying that it shouldn’t be the first thing you consider, I am saying that sometimes we don’t win simply because we refuse to fight. Victory isn’t picked from the ground, victory is achieved!
If you give that dying marriage another approach, opting out may never be an option. It’s not to say that you should die in that problem, it’s not even about protecting an image or maintaining a religious moral code… It’s about facing your battle, fighting and winning!
When there is war, the first thing you think about is winning the fight and not running away from your land! First of all… Fight! Victory is only in the dictionary of those who fight and not those who run from challenges. Even if at the end things didn’t turn out the way you had wanted, you can look yourself in the mirror, tap your chest and say “at least I fought for it… I am brave!”