There is this thing as single and searching. When you are probably searching, you are open to more greetings, more attention and of course more invitations. Although there isn’t any rule that says a guy is the one to invite a lady over, I am writing this specifically to ladies because the society seems to agree that men usually make the first move.

When you are meeting a guy for the first time and you probably have an intention of being more open to accepting a relationship proposal in case things works out, don’t try so hard to impress him at first sight. He may indeed have seen your beautiful pictures on the social media, he may have seen a slightly lightened skin when you seem to be a bit darker or he may have seen an acne-free face when you probably have few spots on your cheeks in real life but regardless of that, never try to impress him with more or what isn’t really you.

never try to impress him with more or what isn’t really you.

So many people compete with what photo editors make them look like. Because you got beautified in the pictures with editors doesn’t mean you should force yourself to look that way or perhaps meet up with the expectation of your date. If you have to try hard to impress people, then it means you aren’t being your real self. If you should be your real self there isn’t anything to try. It’s either he likes you or he doesn’t like you, nothing will change that.

You don’t have to spend time in the mirror painting your face and closing every spot… I mean… For crying out loud, what are you doing? There isn’t any point for heavy makeups, scary eyelashes, contact lens or the best of your clothes. Keep the best of your clothes for the best days. You aren’t going for a photo session, after all, you are simply walking out there to meet someone, study yourselves and know what’s next! Appear in your most comfortable way, wear the most comfortable clothes and put up your real comfortable attitude! No need for gimmicks!

Keep the best of your clothes for the best days.

If you feel someone will not like you because of the way you are, why falsely present yourself the way you feel they will like knowing that you aren’t truly that way? If you have to depend on makeups and artificial add-ons to feel comfortable about yourself, then you are suffering from low self-esteem. Dependence on external things to make you appear great will hurt your self-esteem when they aren’t there anymore. If you should makeup, do it because you love doing them not because you want to impress anyone. If you are envisioning marriage, you know that he will see you face the way it is every morning without makeup!

I am not trying to say that makeups and artificial hair, breast, waist, boobs and all such things aren’t nice but are the stress worth it? Why try to steal affection and attention? You don’t need someone who can’t love you outside makeup! You don’t need someone who doesn’t admire the natural you, your acne infested face, your dark or light skin and so on. You may not understand this until you waste your time attracting someone with just makeups and losing them eventually without even knowing it.

You don’t need someone who doesn’t admire the natural you

Wait a minute! I am not saying you shouldn’t makeup on your first date, just appear the way you normally appear to others. Possibly, appear in light makeups if it is part of your daily routine. I prefer to meet people just the way they are. You have to look nice without looking different so that if they still see you tomorrow by accident, they don’t have to start learning to cope with the real you. If you don’t normally dress a certain way, then you don’t have to dress that way to meet your date or just anyone you want to see for the first time.

There are many occasions where I have fixed dates with people and on the first day they appear so attractive and classy but as time goes on, I realize that this is not who they are. It gradually starts making me withdraw from them not because I don’t like them or that they don’t look beautiful but because I have gotten used to the lady I met in makeups and not outside makeups.

I prefer to meet people just the way they are.

There is also no point trying to be a nice person on a first date when you aren’t a nice person every day of your life. If you don’t usually speak phonetics, you don’t have to use it on your first date too! People should see you and know that this is you! They should reject you at that time than reject you when you think it is beginning to work out. If you usually laugh too much, it is not a problem if you also laugh too much on your first date! Just be you, be carelessly you so that people who want you can come your way and stay with you.

On several occasions, after meeting some ladies on appointment and I happen to bump into them early in the morning, on their sickbed or at their home streets, the first lines they normally give me is “I know you’ll be wondering why I look uglier today… I am not on my makeup.” And yes! Sometimes, I see them and I am wondering something… Not actually why they are uglier (because they are not) but why they look so different. What on earth is the gain?

There is also no point trying to be a nice person on a first date when you aren’t a nice person every day of your life

No rule says your first date experience must be successful, no rule says the person you decide to meet must like you. Forget those dating ideas you see on the internet, the essence of meeting people for the first time should be either to get to know them or do something together! So why try to impress people with who you are not? Maybe, this is why after a few weeks, the young man starts to act up unnecessarily, and they begin to point out problems with you that don’t even exist. The reason is simple; they got attracted to who you showed them you are and not who you are and they are looking for cheap ways to get you off their track and still blame you for walking away.

It is not a bad thing that someone doesn’t like how you look, your fashion sense, your brown teeth, your flat ass and the rest! Everyone has their spec and that they don’t like you doesn’t mean you aren’t good, you are someone else’s best. The most important thing is respecting people’s looks even if you don’t like it. So, when you meet up with someone in your real attitude, it makes things easier for you and your date. When they like what they see, you would know that it is you they like and not the foundation, pancakes, artificial ass and boobs…

You are strong for this!

Tagged with: