Suicide again! Depression is real!
Some days ago, I wrote about suicide and why I didn’t go ahead with it! I didn’t go ahead not because I didn’t want to but each delay was used by God to save me from it. If I had a sniper handy, the story would have been different. I wanted a quick way to die so that there won’t be any time to be hospitalized. On this date, I got a heart wrecking news of a student at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka communicates suicide while leaving his suicide note on his Facebook wall. You will never understand what depression looks like if all things have gone so well with you.
As bad as it looks like an option, never judge anyone who wasn’t strong enough to hold through, they made a very poor decision but don’t judge them especially when you have not had any experience of what depression is. I feel for that young man! I couldn’t hold the tears, I understood it just the moment I set eyes on his profile! The cringe of death on him was so loud and no one could talk him out of it! Sometimes, that person doesn’t need your advice! If you can’t help them, keep your hypocritical advice to yourself. After my experience, until today, I don’t talk down on anyone who committed suicide as much as I wish they knew better.
Do you see this life? It is a terrible thing to live without hope. I have seen Pastors with result commit suicide too! This isn’t just about believing there is God who sits on His throne in heaven. Everyone needs to be part of a very strong community where love isn’t just in words but in actions. I believe lack of love helps depression to thrive!. When love is lacking, people take the path of solitude especially when certain realities have struck them and they begin to think in an unorthodox manner! The moment we feel God has withdrawn from us or the God we have always believed in has failed us, it heightens the level of hopelessness and gives a louder voice to depression.
God has been reaching out to you from day one! Sometimes, we just refuse to listen to Him and cling strongly to our own hurts. We can’t magnify our hurts so much and hear God speaking. When the music is so loud, we may never know when the phone rings. Don’t let your hurts speak louder than your hope! One way we hurt our hopes so deeply is when we give up entirely on God. There is always that time when we feel “God is just another scam.” I don’t even know the best way to convince you but there isn’t any more hope outside God.
They say that as long as there is life, there is hope and this is very true! Even if it is a drop of life remaining, there is hope because that life can spring forth again and sprout out many roots! We may not understand the workings of God so well now, we may ask where He was when we were going through all of the things we went through. I ask that question sometimes too but I also know I have experienced God in the past. I may not understand why He appears silent sometimes but I know He cares and isn’t inactive.
You cannot heal yourself of depression, no matter how long you walk, you can’t walk your way out of depression. You still need God and you still need other people. The man was not designed to function alone and even when people aren’t thinking the same way we do, we can enjoy their company! Diversity shouldn’t drive us away from each other, it should spice our relationships.
Sometimes, we stay in solitude trying to understand life but God designed us to do well in the community and never on our own. Please, no matter what… Don’t be extremely set apart all to yourself. Depression thrives in solitude and lack of love. It gets to the point we see the love and never even recognize it again.
Can you just turn down the volume of that rejection, hurts, failures and even confusions that you can’t understand? Can you increase the volume of hope? I know motivations become annoying when we walk deep into hopelessness but we can look at the testimony of others who have been there before!
Even if the Bible makes no sense to you now, you may take your time to read the story of Job! It got to a point where the only encouragement he got was to “curse God and die” (Job 2:9) but Job refused to increase the volume of hopelessness. He struggled hard with it though but he wrestled hard to ensure the voice of hopelessness doesn’t overpower the voice of hope.
Depression isn’t just a feeling! Depression is against your destiny and its mission is to alter what you exist for. Depression usually graduates to suicidal desires. But you must treat it like the devil, you’ve got to resist it knowing that you aren’t in this alone and others who are experiencing worst things are still living! The Bible says “Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” 1 Peter 5:9
You are not going through it alone, that is why you need to belong to a part of the community where you are encouraged by people who go through the same thing you go through. The Bible says you should resist that devil! Depression too isn’t without negative forces! Those voices you hear in your head isn’t normal. Whenever I see hyper-sensitive people, I feel for them and I love them with all my heart because I have been there and am gradually breaking the barriers of hypersensitiveness.
We take selfies, go to parties, laugh all over social media, write poems and stories and people think we are so much fine after all we are so gifted but the thing is that many people who appear happy are the most depressed folks looking for a way to cheer themselves up! Everybody needs love, not just spoken love but active love! It is not enough to try on our own to be happy and fulfilled, we need other people in our lives. The Bible continues in 1 Peter 5:10 “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” Denying God also denies Him access to our challenges.
There is no one quick fix for depression and I cannot even say my words can be of so much help but there is always a way out which you must be willing to walk on before you pass through it. Think again, suicide may seem like a juicy way of escape but as I wrote concerning Judas who gave up on himself and committed suicide, don’t end your story in that bad light! You are stronger than this and others may need your story to survive! Need someone to talk to? I am not a therapist but I can be your friend!
I call you “blessed”.
~ George O.N