Those days as children, we’d stay glued to the TV screen watching Walt Disney’s animations that end with “they lived happily ever after.” From childhood, we have been made to desire marriage so much and see single-hood as a restriction to living happily ever after. Owing to the rising trend of sexual pre-marital relationships, many of us think it is a curse to stay single once we are of age, therefore, meddling into all sort of meaningless relationships. I believe we should have been taught the joy of single-hood even before forcing the idea of marriage down our throats. Marriage is very good and the stage of single-hood is very good as well and thus needs to be communicated.
I believe strongly that single-hood and marriage-hood are seasons but we must never see single-hood as a season we should hurriedly come out of, I like to think single-hood is the best time to set certain foundations, build ourselves to the peak before sharing our lives with someone else. Being single is never a problem and marriage is not a solution to any problem other than an invitation for another to share permanently in our lives and in a new world we are creating for ourselves.
Adam and Eve were first single even though they both had something they both needed to share together. Until the need of marriage rise, don’t rush out of single-hood. Stop treating single-hood as though you are cursed. I recommend that everyone prepare for marriage from a young age but not in the sense that single-hood is something never to be desired. If you couldn’t manage your single-hood well, your marriage might probably be a disaster!
As long as you are still in your season of single-hood, there is no disadvantage to it. Don’t let the timing of others rush you as we all have different timing. Even if your classmates are all getting married, don’t let their own decisions change your plans. You must ask yourself why you want to get married and to whom you want to get married to! Is it a tangible reason? Do you have what it takes now? Or do you need more time?
Many marriages fail not because people married the wrong person but because they rushed out of single-hood when it wasn’t yet over. Love and emotions aren’t enough reasons to tie the knots now! Exhaust your single-hood first and make sure you use up all of its timelines before considering marriage because, in marriage, you don’t live your life anymore, you share your life with someone else. Every season of your life is worth celebrating and admiring! Be proud of it.
Marriage makes no one better than singles just as being single makes no one better than the married ones. You are your best in whatever seasons of your life that you are in. You can’t expect mango trees to bear good fruits when it is not it’s season yet and the same thing happens when you suddenly jump out of a season you are supposed to live through. You can stay happily ever in your single-hood and still stay happy in your marriage. Where are you right now? In marriage or single-hood? Celebrate it!
Now, I am not saying desiring marriage is wrong but never ever make it a do or die affair or your essence of living. You need a man or woman in your life but before the time to have him or her, live the best of your life now that you just have yourself. Let no one come to you and make you feel like you’re back-ward just because of where you are. Sometimes, those people who want to push us into something we aren’t ready for are not even happy being there. Love yourself now!
If you are married, be happy and grateful too for this season of your life. You have graduated from single-hood to marriage and you should understand the responsibilities involved. However, don’t look down on others who haven’t crossed from their single-hood and don’t even think you are wiser than them. Give rooms for people to celebrate where they are.
Back to the singles. The best way to enjoy your single-hood now is to be aware of the future you have, be aware that your decisions today can affect tomorrow. Enjoying single-hood doesn’t mean jumping from one relationship to another and opening up yourself to every dick and harry for sexual adventures. I may sound very religious and archaic here but I believe that sexual adventure is something you have to explore with your life partner. There are levels of sexual explorations you have now, it may give rise to unnecessary comparisons when you eventually meet your life partner. How can you be satisfied with your partner’s best when you have had the taste of several others?
There are so many ways to enjoy your life as a single! Visit places, make friends, attend conferences, travel to those places you love so much, try out those businesses you ever desired! Just do all manner of positive things now that you have the time because the season of marriage denies you certain things. It is not like marriage is a bondage, it is just that you are giving away your life, to live a shared life with another person.
As a single young man, I am having the best of my time and I am enjoying it. I surely know that when I am out of this season, I will also be enjoying my marriage season. Maybe, it is by just living our lives that we would come across that person in whom we will realize that it is time to take the step further. Until that happens, keep building yourself.
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