I am not married yet and I definitely don’t have kids at the moment but I think I know one or two things about being a great father. Many people think that being a father is as easy as getting a woman pregnant and providing money for the upkeep of the Child but that is not true. As much as the financial support of a child is very important, it doesn’t make any man a great dad. An amazing dad has to be part of his child’s life in all ramification and as usual, we have listed some ways you would become an amazing father whose children will be proud of in years to come.
1. SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN
So many fathers are becoming so busy that they don’t have time for their family again. We often wonder why a high percentage of children are more attached to their mother, it is not how God designed it to be but fathers distance themselves from their children when they don’t spend time with them. Fathers ought to have deep conversations with their kids, listen to them and observe what they are good at and when they are not getting it right. Spending time with your children gives you the opportunity to know them better and they also know you better. Just because they are your children doesn’t mean you know them.
The Bible says in Deuteronomy 6:7 “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” You can’t impress God’s word on your children when you don’t spend time with them. The Bible talks about sitting with them, walking along the road with them, sleeping alongside them and waking up with them while you teach them! You have no excuse not to spend time with your kids. As much as you create time for your business, also create quality time for your kids and never let anything interfere with that time.
2. BE YOUR CHILD’S FIRST TEACHER/COACH/MENTOR
One of the promises I made to my unborn kids is that I will give them that wonderful honour of having a teacher, coach and mentor in me even before knowing the meaning of those words. Allowing strangers to become their first
teacher and coach will expose them to learn what you may never have wanted them to learn. Sometimes, there are things to teach children but there are also ways to teach it. Leaving your children at the mercies of others may make them learn things the wrong way. A great father is he who is committed to teaching his children what they ought to know. Don’t wait for the school, the traditions and the government to do that job for you.
The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6 “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” You probably will not be there to teach them forever and therefore you must take the lead now and put them right on track. When you start your children off in the right way, they may swerve a while but they will always come right back on track because the words which you have given them in love will continue resonating.
3. LIVE BY EXAMPLE
Kids learn by observation and they will obviously copy everything they watch their parents do. For example, when you love their mother and also take turns in the kitchen, your children will grow up seeing it as the norm instead of subscribing to the distorted views out there. You don’t just teach your children how to respect people, you also show them how to do it by doing it. Some men try teaching their children morals but they live very immoral lives and even beat their wives in the sight of the kids. That is inappropriate.
4. DISCIPLINE THEM
To discipline your child doesn’t mean satisfying your anger on them. We must not confuse discipline and anger because while one is done in love, the other is done in temporal hatred. Discipline does not wait till something is done wrong. To discipline your kids means to raise them to know what is wrong and what is not wrong. It also means to give them reasons why they must avoid doing the wrong things.
When a kid is going the wrong way, you may have to draw them back. In the case of near accidents, you may even have to slap them out from the road. To discipline a child means to bring up the child in the consciousness of good morals. The Bible says in Proverbs 13:24 “Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.” The rod of discipline doesn’t mean the rod of anger.
5. PROVIDE FOR YOUR CHILDREN
One way to prove our love is generosity. Beyond paying for rent and schools fees, you should care enough for your children to give them what they need and when they need it. I always tell people that it is wrong to have children when we are not ready or prepared to take care of them. It is understandable that tables turn at times and we may not meet up always with what we would are supposed to do but we must condition our heart to understand it is our responsibility. We shouldn’t be quick to relieve ourselves of our duties to our children. You can’t be an amazing father to your kids when you don’t care for their needs. The Bible says in 1 Timothy 5:8 “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” It is very ungodly to deny our children what they need.
6. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR CHILDREN
Every father must have a compassionate heart towards their children no matter what they do wrong. It is also important that we learn from the story of the Prodigal son in Luke 15:20-24 on how a father must treat his child even when they go naughty. When our kids do something wrong, we always need to express our forgiveness and throw our arms of acceptance to them. A lot of men say things like “a father doesn’t show too much excitement. He may forgive but he doesn’t say it out.” A great father is not mean to his children even when they do wrong. One of the things that makes you a father is when you don’t give up on your children.
7. PRAY FOR YOUR CHILDREN
As much as you love your children, it is not everything that you can teach them and a time may come when you have to leave them to their own but you can always show care by talking to God about them. David prayed for Solomon in 1 Chronicle 29:19 saying “Give my son Solomon the wholehearted desire to obey all your commands, laws, and decrees, and to do everything necessary to build this Temple, for which I have made these preparations.” David knew it wouldn’t be enough to talk to Solomon about the Temple and obeying God and he went to God in prayers.
You may always need to pray to God concerning your children’s friendship circles, their academics, their life decisions and so on.
8. RESPECT YOUR CHILDREN, DON’T PROVOKE THEM
Your children are also human and they deserve respect! Being their father gives you no right to insult them and make them angry. When you keep insulting your children, they will grow up with very low self-esteem and fear. The Bible says in Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”
You ought to be careful the words you use on them, the demands you place on them and how you treat them generally. The emotions of your kids must be put into consideration and you can discipline your child without making him or her angry.
You can be that great father that your children will be very proud of! What other ways do you think a man could be a great father and which of the points appeals most to you? Let’s get your feedback on the comment box!