Dear Feminist | It’s not worth it if…

Wait a minute, some are rushing to see if I’ve fallen off my stand on feminism. Let me not punish you to read further, am unrepentant and so you may not have to bore yourself with reading the rest of the article if you are already developing “bad blood” on this stand. Okay, let me talk to the main people.
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It’s not worth it if you’re mere fighting to be given equal right! It was never collected from you in the first place, someone how you are just being denied the opportunity to express it to some extent. There is a thin line between creating awareness and fighting and that’s why you must avoid those people who wants to turn your campaigns into battle grounds. I almost delved into a fight with someone who said feminism isn’t different from satanism but I realized responding to that would subtly lead into what looks like fight and therefore demeaning what I stand for. To fight for your rights would mean to some people that you never had a right and you’re just realizing you need a right! To put it in a better perspective, even if some of us have used the word “fighting for rights” I want to say it doesn’t mean “fighting to earn rights” but fighting to defend the rights women have already. In doing so, we are standing for the rights of everyone.
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I understand the complexity of things and the hardening of the heart of our people who have grown old in their ignorance. They come up with logics that lack intelligence to disprove what we stand for when we talk about equal rights and opportunity in the society and it’s hard to overlook this people because they just don’t sound annoying, they sound very stupid even in their big grammar! They say some stupid things like “a woman can’t take decisions on her own” and the rest. They talk about how Eve corrupted Adam but they never talk about how Adam who received the instruction never carried it out properly and how Adam sheepishly felled for the temptation without resistance! They forget that if given grounds to argue this, that alone disqualifies their argument and even try to put men on the bad light when it comes to making decisions and standing by their decisions. Adam’s role in the fall shows that if Adam had been tempted, he would fall too! The woman was carrying the seed of all nations and thats why Satan went straight for her.
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Unhealthy comparison between men and women is not feminism and nobody is comparing both sex in that manner except in the heart of those people who believe there is something like “Nigerian feminism” or “Chimamanda’s feminism”. Those who are only good at making jokes but sounding very unreasonable.
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Like the statement I read somewhere saying “Nigeria has 76 problem, Buhari is 66 and Feminists are the rest.” This shows the level of people’s ignorance which makes them resort to cheap jokes that sounds even stupid to anyone who has common sense. When did saying “both fork and knife” are equally important became devilish? Given only fork or knife, do you think you can eat that rice well? The two must be used together to work out better result! This is how the man and the woman is. Both are the complete expression of humanity and none is more important or even “in the front” as one misguided folk puts it.
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So, it is useless trying to engage these people in any decent discussion because they are not even decent in their thinking talk more of being decent in listening! When you talk about women’s right, they hear “we hate men.” When you talk about submitting to one another , all they hear is “we hate submission and men are scumbags” they have a problem with the way they understand things but am sure this isn’t the case of Pharoah whose hardening of heart was more spiritual than intentional. Theirs is just a case of stupid pride, wanting to stick to what they have always believed to be true even when from all indications including the Bible they quote out of context says otherwise. They can’t even defend their positions rightly because they have no point and only want to fight even when all you wanted to do was educate them and show them the right way of thinking and relating with the opposite sex.
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Now, what is the essence of saying this? Stop trying to explain too much to people who celebrate ignorance because too much explanation even gives room for much meaningless debates. While we continue making our campaigns and making people know that women should also be given equal societal opportunities and allowed to lead as much as they are qualified to, we must also do our best to show people evidence that women can make it and are making it.
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You should shut your mouth and never mention “I am a feminist” If you still depend on boyfriends for a living! You should hide in shame if you are shouting feminism when you cannot even join hands with your husband to foot the bills! You’re a wrong ambassador of that ideology if you have no personal vision; if your only desired achievement in life is being a mother and a wife! Oh… They will say George is against marriage. Well, I don’t even want to explain anything! Let them say what they want.
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How can you be talking about equal opportunity when you yourself aren’t even out in the field in the first place. Some women are not even ready for the platform because they have been made to believe men are givers and therefore they can just receive and not stress themselves struggling for anything. The virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 is an ideal feminist. The Bible says she does her own business and even buy lands to expand her trade. She makes investment and provide for the family. A feminist doesn’t have “my husband’s money is our money and my money is my money” mentality. Truth is, people like me can put up with any woman whether she’s doing anything or not and still respect her so much on all grounds but I am not all guys and all guys are not me… These guys I see everywhere seeing us who talk about women’s right as stupid folks! Are they the ones you think will understand?
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It’s either you live normal and choose to be whatever they call you or you rise above the norm, get out of your comfort zone and start soiling your hands to earn a living! Start building that idea that came to you and don’t settle for less! How dare you talk about equality when everything about you was provided by a guy? Don’t you know he will always act above you when he literally owns you? When your hair to toe is under sponsorship, how do you think the sponsor won’t feel he has all the right over you? Sometimes he sees other women like he sees you just because of the picture you painted to him about women. I will respect you and still see you as first class human no matter if I was the one feeding you since you were a child because being responsible for someone isn’t enough reason to see them as inferiror but please many people don’t think like me and will not think like me till Jesus comes!
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So dear feminist, you can make sense when you start living that life and start showing it instead of explaining it to people who have decided not to understand. Make your own money, rent your own house, pay your own bills and watch as men will respect you even without you saying a word. When you employ a man in your firm will he have the right to be anti-feminist? No, he will not because the situation will fix his thoughts whether he wants it or not. And watch him, he will be very submissive! Highest, they will say “she’s a boss lady!” Oh my… What’s wrong with being a boss and a lady?
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In a world where men dominates almost every field, what do you expect? Do you expect them to just believe your ideology about rights? It’s time to start your own business, it’s time to do something different, it’s time to show how well you can run on that platform if given opportunity. Not all men even have that opportunity that you seek for! I talk about women leading in the society too but how many am I leading? So it’s left for you to start showing them that they don’t own your rights… You have them and you can exercise them. Then, gradually you’ll see them get fixed and relaxed about you. Be successful and many men will want not just to have you partner with them but to partner with you! Get a skill in coding, learn AutoCAD, start up that tech firm… Just do that great stuff you want to do! You aren’t competing with men, you are just living your life. And together, we can channel our strength to defend the women in areas where they can’t defend themselves. You won’t believe in some countries and traditions, a woman isn’t permitted to own properties, drive a car or even own a business…. Yes! In this 21st century! Maybe, it’s your success that will inspire them to break out of that shackles!
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This doesn’t mean we won’t go ahead and make noise about these rights. When people get angry with us, it shows the message is penetrating but am saying it’s more honorable to show out what you’re talking about. Believe me, if you stand just by your great achievements to say “I believe leadership and opportunities are not gender based” people will nod in agreement because you aren’t the only one speaking, those things you have achieved is adding to your voice.
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Ultimately, mentor a girl child to grow up knowing her worth and mentor a boy child to grow up knowing that humanity thrives in the cooperation of both gender. We may not be able to control all the situations now but we can save the future.
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Blessings.
I am George O.N
Your favorite male Feminist.

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