SEX IN RELATIONSHIP | What you were not told in Church meetings

SEX IN RELATIONSHIP
:
Some will quickly see you as “immoral” the moment it seem you go soft on sex. But if we want to address issues relating to premarital sex, we have to switch off those threats and tell ourselves the truth about it.
:
If you still get hungry and thirsty even after getting born again and you believe it is normal, then it is also normal to have sexual urges at times even as a born-again child of God. One of the wrong teachings I have heard in the gathering of believers is “when that urge come, start speaking in tongues.” If that should be the case, same should be the solution to hunger. When you are hungry or thirsty, you don’t speak in tongues to quench it! Jospeh was not speaking in tongues when Potiphar’s wife tempted him. He didn’t stand there quoting Abraham, Isaac and Jacob! He might have been aroused no wonder he had to flee! Another very wrong teaching I have heard is the one they use as a threat and they tell young people “don’t have sex because if you do, demons will be transferred to you.”
:
What were told in Church meetings regarding sex is a major challenge contributing to the moral decline we experience today! We have to stop being overly spiritual on sexual discussions just as we don’t get overly spiritual when we talk about cooking and eating food! The picture is painted in such a way that once you have sex you get possessed with 7 demons. I don’t even know where they get all of those ideas from. We become so spiritual about the topic of sex that when we think we are solving issues as regards to the abuse of sex we are creating even more problems! If one automatically get possessed with seven demons for having premarital sex, then he or she would want to just continue since the demons are there. Even if we say they will be possessed with demons if they have sex with unbelievers or people prone to demon possession then we are saying it is safe to engage in premarital sex with believers since theologically and truthfully, a Christian cannot be possessed by demon! Most of the things we heard in Church as a threat and means of curbing premarital sex have only ended up making it more rampant because people don’t see those threats happening.
:
I started by saying it is normal to have sexual urge because God wired you to have it and you shouldn’t feel dirty and spoilt when you do! Being born again doesn’t cease your body from functioning and God wired your sexual organs to start sending you signals when your body has reached that stage of being able to have sex. Now, we also hear people say things like “he wouldn’t dare touch you or ask for sex if he loves you.” That is bunch of lies! What I tell ladies especially is “a man who loves you will naturally want even your body but he will definitely respect your decisions, respect your body and respect God’s standard if he loves the Lord!.” The reason you should date a believer as a believer isn’t so that they don’t demand for sex! No, the body is wired to yearn for it! The problem lies in the lack of self control just like there are people who lack self control when it comes to the food they eat. When you are hungry, what you do is you prepare food and eat or you buy your food and eat! That you are hungry doesn’t mean you would jump into the gutter and pick anything to eat and it also doesn’t mean that you could go to market and grab anything just for lunch! This is what happens in sex too, until you are ready to carry on the responsibilities of sex, you have to exercise self control over sex!
:
Any man who tells you Jesus will stop sexual urges from you is even making mockery of what God has designed in you. Men are largely moved by what they see and they are more moved when their admiration and love is reciprocated. Sometimes, Men even think sex would grant them security in a relationship and therefore they tend to go for it just to secure that person which often don’t work out that way. You see those sexual desires that come sometimes, it is a sign that you are sexually healthy and you should always thank God for that! If you aren’t having sexual urges at times, go to hospital, you have a problem. No matter the height of his spirituality, when the both of you are together in a private place, he may want to touch you! It doesn’t mean he isn’t born again, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you and it doesn’t even at times means he will pick a race after that moment! It simply means his natural self is manifesting and if he is cultured, he can control himself! That several men even among believers have acted like beasts doesn’t mean every man is a beast. A lady once said the beast in a man will arise whenever he is alone with a woman, anyway, I don’t know about any beast because none exist in me!
:
The difference between certain men is that some have decided to put what they feel into control and respect the woman’s decisions, some have made up their mind to obey the word of God as regards to morality and some have lost control over their body because they have stuffed their minds heavily with immorality but each and every one of them feel the same thing! Don’t throw yourself to a man at night and if he starts touching you start wondering “I thought he is born again!” Oh yes, He is born again and born again people have feelings too. You may have to call his attention like “can we respect God’s standard on this? I understand how you feel and I feel the same way too but we can respect God’s standard on this and at the right time we will have the best of ourselves!” Every sincere believer will respect statements like this. Knowing this will help you understand you can say no to sex without hurting your partner! They didn’t suddenly become evil for talking about sex, they only manifested their humanity!
:
Being born again alone doesn’t make a man exercise self control! Yes, self control is one of the fruits of the Spirit but some believers don’t just exercise it! So, don’t just decide to sleep over in any guys house just because he is your leader in Church, your music director, your campus Pastor or any of that! It is possible to stay with someone and they don’t think of even touching you but it largely depends on that person’s relationship with you. That tongue speaking brother who is working miracles in your meetings can still have erections! Some of them can still lose control over their erections if they have not been building their character. It is takes deliberate attempt to build character! This isn’t just peculiar to men alone.
:
When you are in a relationship with a believer, don’t be so foolish to think their flesh has suddenly become dead and can’t function naturally! Don’t even enter a relationship with a believer just because you feel they wouldn’t be tempted to make some demands sexually, be in a relationship with someone based on purpose! And if he or she ever makes demand for sex, don’t start going haywire thinking he isn’t the right one for you! You just have to help remind them God’s standard in relationships! That someone is God’s purpose for you doesn’t mean sexual temptations won’t come in at times! Listen to me, you have a body that yearns for sexual satisfaction and in its time it is so right to get that sexual satisfaction from that person to whom your body belongs to! This is rightfully achieved in the confines of marriage!
:
By their fruits you shall know them! Speaking in tongues and preaching good doesn’t make or confirm anyone to be morally sound! People can of course be Christians and still not exercise self control and you can find out just about anyone! Wanting to touch you, wanting to kiss you and all of those advances aren’t indications of lack of self control, it shows the body is yearning for sexual satisfaction but it is chiefly on how they react when they are reminded of God’s standards or how they disregard God’s standards that indicates the stuff they are made of. A man who lacks self control will always want to pressure you, they may never want “no” for answer and once they don’t get it they’d pick up a fight! Sex would be the major topic of conversation in everything they say! You’ll see it so clear and will need no prophet to tell you! People who don’t exercise self control in a relationship will not exercise it in marriage. But for people who have self control and truly love you, they will respect your body and your decisions in the area of sex, they will never pressure you into it and even as much as the urge would come sometimes, you aren’t in danger with them in the sense that they aren’t out of their senses.
:
Sometimes the issues of sexual compatibility comes in and people also shy away from talking about it in a relationship! Excuse me, how can you even talk about your future kids when you can’t discuss sexual compatibility in relationship? Discussing sexual compatibility doesn’t mean experimenting sex, it means finding out if someone is sexually healthy or not and one way to find out is when they are just like that! When you date a man and you don’t sense any part of him wanting you, I am not saying he has a problem but I am encouraging you to ask him to go to hospital and confirm the state of his sexual health! You don’t even need the approval of Pastor to do this and this will save you from managing what you may not even be able to manage in marriage. You don’t need to engage in sex to know your sexual drive, this is why God wired those urges in you so that you can know about your body early! But you have to know all of these things, you have to be outspoken about it and anybody thinking you are spoilt is just been very deep in religion!
:
That someone never made advances on you during courtship doesn’t make him better than that person who tried making advances! Please, don’t quote me wrong! When you see people who are all out for your body and nothing more, you will know! If it is not your body, they don’t want you! Run from this people, I am not talking about people who really love you and maybe on some occasions got tempted to touch! Don’t make them feel more terrible, give them hope and encouragement that it will take place at the right time. Even Paul never rebuked believers for having sexual urge, he rather encouraged them to go ahead and marry so that they don’t run out of patience with their partners. In 1 Timothy 5:14, Paul encouraged young people who lost their partner to marry and give the devil no opportunity for slander and this is because Paul recognizes that the human body is designed in such a manner that it would desire sexual satisfaction!
:
A widow would still want sexual satisfaction and it is right to remarry so that it would give the devil opportunity to cause slander. Another instance is in 1 Corinthians 7:9 where Paul encouraged young people who are already having strong sexual desires to marry! He said it is not good to get tortured in the desire, it is better to be married! Now, Paul wasn’t writing to those who are perverts or those who are suffering from sexual addictions! He was talking to people who are responsible enough to get married and are having these sexual desires in them. The Message Bible renders it this way “But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single.” What does Paul mean by “if they can’t manage their desires and emotions?” He wasn’t talking about people who are loose, He is talking about living entirely without that urge and desire. If you can’t live without that urge, go ahead and seek marriage! That you aren’t marrying just anybody for the purpose of sex, you are marrying that one person you desire for yourself! This is God’s wisdom at work! Celibacy isn’t for everyone and marriage may not be for everyone too! If you have desires waiting to be sexually satisfied at the right time, why think celibacy? Paul even continued further to instruct couples not to deny one another sex except for a tangible reason both agreed upon.
:
It is the deep reverence for God and deep respect for you that will make a man honor your body in a worthy manner! If he truly loves you, he will honor your body! There are time you’d notice that he is full of sexual passion, you’d notice that he decides to sit on the floor for some time, that he walks into the toilet just to sit there and get his head fixed, that he quickly plug in earphone and begin to sing! Times he demand that you both begin to play whot and do other minimal energy-tasking activities like jogging… He is trying to distract himself and hold himself back because he respects your body! You can also be of help to him by making it very easy for him! Your dressing, body language, ideas and attitudes will go a long way to help keep him in place. This is largely about how the woman deals with the man because the men will always be the initiators but there are also cases where women try to be the initiators.
:
If you are truly concerned about building a beautiful godly relationship, you’ll also help your partner by always praying together, studying together and knowing more and more of what God’s will for that relationship is. Making it center around Jesus brings a filter and filter out what is not God’s standard! You can make it work, you can keep that relationship pure even while admitting what God fixed right there in your body and you can say “no” without hurting him or her! This is why it is relationship, help one another to stay on track and in most cases seek counsel from elderly ones who has been proven to speak the truth, not people who cook up lies and threats thinking it will keep you away from mistakes not knowing it will even lead to more mistakes. In case you have missed it before, you shouldn’t miss it again! Put up boundaries, know when to stay together and when not to stay together. Trying meeting in open places than in private areas. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t visit him or her but only do that when the urge isn’t on fire, you must consciously put up that control if you really want a control.
:
Let’s keep it real!
Sex in marriage is the real deal!
Blessings!
:
I am George O.N
The Man-In-God
#GracefulGeorge
You may surely want to read “I MET SOPHIA” a thrilling true life story!
NOTE: George’s Diary Android App is available on Amazon Store and PalmStore (Preinstalled in Tecno, Infinix and Itel phones). You can also get it quickly HERE.
Tagged with: