ONCE UPON A TIME | I MET SOPHIE…

I ONCE MET SOPHIE 2
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3:25pm | 18-2-2019
I met her at the door, her skin was glowing like that smooth fair skin beautifully tanned by the sun! Even where it seemed dark, her skin was glowing and I could perceive beautiful fragrance right within her aura! Her presence was Angelic and it felt more spiritual than physical. It’s been a long time I saw her that happy, a long time I saw her smile in that manner! She looked just so cheerful and playful like the Sophie I had known in the very beginning of our relationship! Her face was just without any spot, her hair was well packed up to form one big doughnut while the foundations were well jelled to wrap up tightly on her head. During the first days of our relationship, we had always related informally, there was no sign of coldness in our conversation! She could laugh while I talk, she would never want me to stop talking and she would end up telling me “I like you so much because you are just like me!” Then, she could easily read my thoughts and tell me what I was thinking, she could tell when I wasn’t happy and why I wasn’t happy! She wouldn’t even let the day pass by without having us trash out issues and forget it!
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I remember the day she called me out and gave me a package wrapped up in a black waterproof paper. I slowly opened it and realized it was a wrist-watch, an expensive one and the very first expensive wrist- watch I was wearing! I still wear it till today! I remember the days she could text me, I remember when she called me “Baby” for the first time! I remember when she would pay the bills when we go out on a date and I happen not to have any money on me! I remember that very evening she told me she was blessed to be my woman and that it is her desire that this doesn’t end! For the first time, I was seeing myself in a well defined relationship, with my type of woman! For the first time, I felt so loved that I didn’t need to think twice about anybody any more. I had ended the search and even restricted my communications with other people!
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Well, after some months, it started getting cold! Maybe my unexplained random turnout of moods caused it, maybe I was looking for an impossible attention but she became used to that coldness! I started doing my best to get that cheerful part of her but it wasn’t possible! It became just another experience all together! Well, sometimes we would get along so well, we would laugh, play and just act like kids and the next minute no one is talking to another anymore!
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This was gradually how that beautiful relationship started winding up! Not because we didn’t love ourselves even to date but maybe because we had just started magnifying the little errors we would outgrow and started ignoring the friendship that had brought us together! It became much of struggle; right in her eyes love for me was evident and so was mine but we just couldn’t stop magnifying every mistakes until they became so big that insecurities started building up! These insecurities weren’t because of unfaithfulness, we were both faithful to that relationship, contributing our efforts but the insecurities arose because of the fear of uncertainties and the inability to reassure ourselves of our commitment to making it work. It even became difficult to respond to “I love you!” It was becoming just so cold everyday! It eventually seemed to have ended that way.
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This and many more had flashed back into my mind in just a second and I started being very sober, trying my best to hold back those tears that had started building up the moment I saw her at the door. She was wearing a white fitting long sleeve top that had floral designs of pink, navy blue and sky blue on it and a black trouser. But her difference was so glaring! She was just so different without any sign of the usual coldness I had come to associate with her. She took my hand and said “Baby! It’s being a long time!” I couldn’t believe my eyes! We hugged, she pecked me and I started crying! She took me by the hand and we started walking. She looked into my eyes and asked me “Baby, do you know I love you so much?” That question reminded me so many things! How I had always accused her of not loving me once we have a fight and how I would quickly recall of the ways she had gone extra miles to care for me! There was no doubt that she loved me and I started crying the more! “Forget whatever I have said in the past! All of them are in the past! Yes, I know you love me!” I cried.
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All through that moment I was crying! I don’t know why but my heart was just so heavy that the only thing I could do was cry and she was comfortable with me crying, she never asked me to stop or tried making me to stop. She was smiling all through! Still holding hands together, we walked into the sitting room and we sat on just one single sofa! I didn’t know how we fit into that single sofa but we were so close that one would even think we wanted to practice some kissing sessions.
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She was saying a lot of things about us and I kept crying, at a point the only thing I was saying was “Sophie, I need you! I have tried moving on but it is difficult to move on. I never planned to, please I need you!” I recall I heard her call my attention and say “George, you changed! And you’re changing…” I didn’t know the change she was talking about. Was it negative change or positive? I couldn’t tell which. While I was still wondering what the change she talked about was, she smiled and said “Maybe you changed because I left you, it isn’t your fault! I know you are very lonely right now, I know you miss me so much and it’s making you do so many things…”
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I didn’t wait for her to finish what she was saying! I cried the more knowing that she understood how miserable I have been after she was gone. All of a sudden, I couldn’t find her anymore. I started looking around for her; I walked out to the verandah but couldn’t find her! I could feel her presence so strong but I couldn’t see her! Those tears continued pouring like a stream and suddenly I woke up! It was 3:25am in the morning and I never slept thinking about her, it wasn’t a replay of what I was thinking about before sleeping. This wasn’t an accidental dream! My entire pillow was soaked with tears, my heart was still sober, I was still crying even as I started muttering some prayers! Throughout the day, I had kept feeling it all replay in my heart and it has kept me sober. I knew Sophie’s heart came without her permission; her heart came to tell me “we may not have walked on forever, but we have loved each other genuinely and somehow, we have a place in our hearts for ourselves forever! I have come to let you know that no matter how far the distance becomes, somewhere and somehow, your friendship will forever be remembered in this heart, a little permanent space has been carved out for you and you remain that which I have always regarded you.” Maybe this was what Sophie was even telling me in that dream that I wasn’t listening to but it was so evident in my heart when I woke up. This is a true story of my own dream! It isn’t someone else’s narration! It is my own story and the most beautiful but painful dream I’ve ever had in my lifetime.
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Like Ifuu had told me, I had stopped trying to fight it! I have long ago admitted that I still care even as much as I am standing strong, taking complete charge over my emotion and I am giving time it’s place. Time heals and time brings to us better opportunities and never have I ever regretted loving Sophie. This dream alone made me understand how powerful love could be and how strong bonds could follow us even into certain realm beyond the physical. So maybe, I and you should be careful who will give our hearts to.
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If you know Sophie, tell her “I appreciate her heart’s visit. I still care no matter how far the distance has become.” This is my little way of preserving this memory. And it’s exactly one week to my birthday anniversary…
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My name is George O.N
Once upon a time, I met Sophie…
5:48pm | 18-2-2019
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#GracefulGeorge