Heart’s Counsel | Quick Guide After Break-up With Someone You Love

After my last break-up, I had spent time struggling to accept within me that it was over! This happens to be the first serious and purposeful relationship I’ve ever had.

Yea, from all indication it was over but I had kept romancing the memories left in my head, kept fighting harder to re-establish what doesn’t exist anymore, kept allowing those tears to flow at every re-emergence of memories! This minute I am laughing and the next minute I am quiet, sober and buried into my own thoughts. It was the hardest thing I ever tried doing all my life – to move on from what I thought from the beginning would never end!

It seemed my life has been so built around her that it would be difficult to live another life. With me making progress every day and some odd days wanting to walk down the memory lane, I felt so miserable about myself.

Among all of the wonderful counsel’s I have had which had been helping me recollect myself and move on, my heart itself decided to speak to me and I believe it would benefit someone else as it has benefited me! It’s a quick one!

What do you do over spilt milk? You have just two options!

To either suck up the milk from the floor if you can’t let go of it or move on, clean it off and make creamy and tasteful milk with your choicest flavours and even new recipes! Why sit over spilt milk and cry as though every Dairy has been shut down? Why keep staring at the spill as though your stare would turn back the hands of time? It is gone and you have another opportunity to do it differently this time!

It is true that all the times you spent in that relationship kept building bonds and the more you threaded on that path, the stronger it became! It is true that there have been lots of emotions invested in it and it is not as easy as flicking the finger! But if people get over their dead loved ones, how about a relationship you know can still happen with someone else in a great and better way, with improvements based on the lessons you have learnt from your past!

What exactly are you crying about? That you would watch them belong to someone else? That you would watch them fall into the arms of another, get married and live a life you had wanted to live with them? Isn’t it just like the spilt milk? No one ever makes milk to spill it, we do our milk with fantasies in our mind but once it spills we can only try achieving those fantasies with another cup of milk!

It is okay to allow those tears flow but cry from now till next year it can only worsen your health, make you feel more terrible but never resurrect what is dead and gone! Before you ever came across that person you had a life, right? You survived to be alone, is there anything different now?

Yes, I know what is different! You had trained yourself with the relationship into thinking you can never be alone again! You have trained yourself to think that you couldn’t survive to be without that person! But hey, you can, you have always survived and when you finally pass this phase, you’d look back and say to yourself “I never knew a better life was right ahead of me!” Retrain yourself now to live without them and stop thinking life would have been any better with them! If it was so, there wouldn’t have been a break-up in the first place.

What exactly is that memory that you can’t create with someone else in a better way? Maybe it was the years spent together, making plans and guiding one another? Maybe it was the very first kiss of your life? Maybe it was a hug? Maybe it was the pictures and the places you went together? Maybe it was the promises you gave each other holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes?

What memory is it that can’t be created some other time with someone else? Come to even think of it! Some of us keep mourning over people who don’t even mourn over us, they have moved on, living their own lives and retraining themselves to live better and we decide to delay our movement in life by sitting over that spilt milk? This is the time to even be better, improve you before wanting to give someone else that special space! This is the time not to invest your emotions wrongly again!

Hey honey! Move on! Get a rag and clean off that milk! Sucking it up from the floor can harm you, you could get infected! Lose your hold on the past because it will cause you more heartbreak! This is an opportunity to do it better, opportunity to make a more mature and informed decision based on purpose.

Some of us only get wiser and more decisive! I admit, as long as you loved someone and wanted to spend the rest of your life forever with that person, it would be a very painful experience to break up because you’ll be watching that milk you had spent time to make spill away but you have to be positive! There will always be another cup of milk!

Don’t make yourself feel so bad and hopeless! Don’t stop blaming yourself and wondering what it is that you didn’t do so well that caused that person to either start giving you the cold feet or walk away from you. Just walk to the mirror, look at yourself and realize you aren’t without a choice!

You are not a terrible person who can’t have a wonderful relationship! Stop wondering if there was anything wrong with you. Maybe there was but if that person was meant for you, he or she will stay! Admit your feelings, admit what has happened but also admit you have a future, you can live better and as long as you survived before meeting that person, you can survive without that person!

He or she may have stopped caring about you, they may no longer give a damn what happens to you in the future but if you still care, don’t try denying it! Keep caring! But hey, your life is your life and you’ve got to stand strong and be the one in charge of your emotions and not some random persons who came and walked away!

They may have walked away for the right reasons, to give you the opportunity to love and be loved right! There is light at the end of the tunnel so just go ahead and walk out of that tunnel!

Are you ready to clean off the spilt milk or do you want to take the risk and suck it up from the floor? The choice is still yours to make.

Blessings.