FROM THE HEART OF AN EMOTIONAL INTROVERT….

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One fine evening, I was helping a friend unlock some features on her phone and at the same time discussing lots of stuffs about life. A woman who lived around passed by and we waved at her with broad smiles and I really had great respect for this woman… God knows my gestures were genuine.
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Guess what happened? This woman turned towards us and spoke with a face that clearly showed how disgusting we were to her
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“So, you have grown wings abi? You both can’t even greet your elders properly? Why waving at me? Am I your mate? What happened to this generation? Idiots!” She insulted us and pushed us aside passing between us.
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We were really confused and since then I have come to notice that we all tend to define respect differently and when people show us respect that isn’t really in line with our perception we see it as insult. Respect however starts from the mind, people have respect for you before they can show it. They show respect how they are wired! Not everyone who bows to you respects you, some just pretend they do, they can pretend forever but they don’t. It is like love,not everyone who expresses elements of love truly love someone.
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In Igboland, adults feel very offended and insulted when a younger person ask them “how are you?” in English language but responds when same question is asked in vernacular. This is an orientation problem.
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Now you see, we judge people sometimes, not because they are really bad but because they didn’t follow our own supposed guideline of doing things. When people’s standard is different from ours, we tend to look down on them but since we are different, our standard can be different. Introverts have always been victims of such circumstances. For instance, introverts are assumed to be very arrogant and full of pride simply because they don’t speak a lot or really get easily along with people. But if you take time to look at these introverts, they are always struggling to show how much they care and how much value they place on certain people… You can only get to see it when you are patient with them and when you train yourself to see life from diverse perspectives. Introverts give in all they are to what they love, they don’t like hurting people but they get easily hurt, they want to please someone they love and sometimes they forgive even when they are not wrong but because they don’t get these things in return, introverts tend to feel very insecure! So, you would need a great deal of mastery to know that you must be intentional with expressing what you feel to an introvert while they express theirs not in words but in a more deeper way and in reflex actions. When an introvert doesn’t feel secure with you, there is usually unexplained mood swings because they can feel it but they can’t easily say it. This is even worst when two introverts are in relationship without making efforts to break out of their lock settings.
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Certain introverts also have a kind of unwillingness to say some things because they always fear how what they say may go with you and it makes them say fewer words and write the rest. Introverts may not be willing to discuss how you look but they can quickly tell you how they want you to look! Introverts may not make lots of phone calls and when they do, they run short of words and the call lasts for only 30seconds. They find it hard to answer calls when they are afraid because they have phobia for issues. But, when you understand them, they can be amazing people… They can be talkatives when you come really close. Introverts are very good in texting, you’d do so well if you learn to text them too. It is only in texting that they can really tell you how they feel. Sometimes, their lips are too weak to carry the weight of words they want to express.
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To win the heart and trust of an introvert, don’t just be quick to show them they aren’t getting things right because you will end up discouraging sincere ones who really had to put their all for productivity. Be kind enough to smile and tell them how good they are and then wisely tell them what to do to become better! With that, they will always come around you because you don’t scare them. Introverts are usually hyper sensitive on one end, they are sensitive not just to the things you said or do but even things hidden in those expressions on your face. Reason is because they put things into calculation.
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Popular opinion holds that introverts are wicked people and they hold grudges. Well, they already have lots of things in their minds that they cannot verbally express but they also don’t really have that strong heart to bear grudges for a long time. Being hyper sensitive and somewhat emotional, introverts may get upset for what they don’t understand, they assume a lot of things especially when you aren’t ready to explain but with time they just want to make peace so they relieve their heart of that burden. Yes, introverts wants you to explain everything to them, that is how to make them feel secure. It takes time but when an introvert eventually gives up on you, it is truly over. There may be exceptions though. Even introverts who eventually became extroverted due to influences still have these threats in them because this is how they have grown to think. Hyper sensitive extroverts share some common boundaries with introverts too.
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The tendency of an introvert to commit suicide becomes higher when no one seems to be encouraging them in a time when everyone is only against them. You can explore the best of an introvert by becoming his/her friend and when you do, they can really go a long way to maintain that friendship. They can’t afford to loose that one person who believes they are sane! Introverts may not be able to tell you how much they love you but their attitudes towards you shows it. They over show it and in the same way would get jealous in a higher degree because they don’t have a lot of people they call friends so it would be scary discovering they are loosing you. Introverts and hyper sensitive persons sometimes are usually taken advantage of, they are forgiving, they are generous and they are very protective and because of this, some deal with them knowing they’d still get away with it but the more an introvert is hurt, the more they are trained not to trust you. While it takes time, they’ll leave someday and you may realize you just loosed the most amazing person in the world. Because of their chemistry, loving an introvert is work! You must be intentional if you really love them but allow things to happen on its own, that love will still be questioned.
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Introverts and hyper sensitive persons make up most of the emotional writers because they may not really be able to tell anyone what they are going through without the help of their fingers. Introverts love silence… And through writing, they speak in silence. Introverts are good in written – story telling! A lot of things go on on their minds, a lot of pictures are formed and because they don’t exhaust what plays in their minds in words, they write it because writing has no sound but it speaks volume! Written words communicate more deeply and introverts pour out their heart on books.
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Lots of things are happening, lots of things will happen and lots of things have happened. One thing makes different meaning to us than it makes to you. Introverts also get better when they understand who they are and why they are how they are.
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Do not judge or conclude about anyone till you see from their own perspective. God designed us in a unique way… If the world is full of introverts, it would be very boring… If the world is full of extroverts, it would be full of noise… The blend of the two in understanding makes the world beautiful in its diversity!
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I write from my experience as an introvert who have experienced neglect and hurt from people who never meant it, from people who really cared but we’re not intentional about it. It was an experience that started early in my life. Maybe I was not created as an introvert but my upbringing made me one. My case does not speak for all introverts and hyper sensitive persons but I think it do go a long way to tell you that “introverts are not proud people, they are just verbally quiet but becomes so vocal if you are able to spark off a part of their life. They can be outgoing if you make them comfortable with you.”
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I am George, a Man-in-God (MIG)
#GracefulGeorge
#KingGeorge
#ManInGod