WHY SOME WALK AWAY

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Pouring my heart into this, don’t ignore it.
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After counselling a young lady this night over the phone, I felt it’s important I communicate this to every young person, it is very important. If you must be in a relationship, you must also be disciplined enough to maintain that relationship. To think it doesn’t matter means you might also make the same mistake in your marriage. If you can’t pay attention to details in your relationship, you definitely can’t pay attention to details in your marriage and you may not even know that those very little things you neglect are the most important fabrics of building a great relationship. Don’t come in with the mentality of “this is who I am. If he can’t handle it, then let him go.” because you’ll be the one loosing at the end. It’s better you don’t enter a relationship until you’re mentally ready than enter one just to play with another person’s heart.
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How you treat your partner in the most little things passes even greater message than how you treat them in big things. Things you call common may be the very thing that will destroy your wonderful relationship. You may always think he or she will come back as usual after been treated like trash until one morning… You’ll look for them, cry for their return, pledge absolute respect and loyalty… But you’ll never ever have them back again.
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You know why?
While you were treating him as trash, you were consistently training them to walk away. All those while he walks away and come back, he was was experimenting what it is like to go away and then just one day, he discovers you aren’t really worth all the sacrifice, all the tears and all the resources he had put into being with you. He realizes there are lots of better options out there, he realizes there is a place he can be loved, admired and respected. He realizes he wasted his time being with you and the worst thing is he regrets all he ever invested and in most cases he might have been the one trying to make it work.
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All those while she kept giving you signals that you aren’t giving her adequate attention, all those while she would drop a message and you never send a reply, all those while she would tell you she’s feeling you are far away even though you are near and you never did anything about it, you formed busy and felt big that she was chasing after you… You were training her to see that you weren’t the best after all and you never knew someone else somewhere else was trying his best to give her attention, to support her dreams and encourage her. Until you look for her and never see her again, you’ll ever know what you have done to yourself. Anyone you neglect maybe because you’re too use to the person, someone else is admiring that person. You must be intentional with love, it should come from decision and not from what you feel.
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One big thing is…
You may feel there are lots of fishes in the sea and you would definitely find someone else if they ever leave, You’ll be amazed to discover that in the sea, there are rare fishes every hook can’t catch and if you miss it, you have missed it. A lot of people loose the best out of carelessness, they don’t know what they had until the moment they loosed it. A lot of people have tried to make that relationship work but they are tired, they are giving up because they are doing all the work alone. It hurts to make someone feel loved, to keep giving assurances of your love and keep getting the cold feet. My God! I know how that feels, it’s crazy! And sometimes, you really love your partner but you’re too lazy to invest your creativity into that relationship, you’re too lazy to improve in your communication and you’re too comfortable with average… You’re hurting that relationship and it will be a shipwreck if care is not taken, at the end you may be the one to cry the most because you got the best of your partner but they never got the best of you and so they may never miss you because there is nothing about you to miss. No one misses heartache!
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I told a friend of mine one certain time “I love adventure, I love crazy love and not some cold, dull relationship.” There should be an excitement in every relationship and it takes two to make it work! I personally have no future with someone who isn’t adventurous and creative in a relationship. I may try to make it work but it depends on the second party to really accept her responsibility to do her part. if it isn’t working, I start withdrawing gradually. You can’t be begging someone who should love you to love you, you can’t be begging someone who should give you attention to give you attention! If you always have to beg for it, if you always have to ask for it, then you’ll beg all your life to keep having it. In a relationship, if you must always beg for attention then you need to start considering walking away and taking your time to know what you want. Stop giving people room to treat you like trash. It’s not a sin to walk away from a relationship that eats your joy away!
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Let me be real, I am not into baby-making dream so my idea of a relationship isn’t to find someone to make babies with, sleep, wake up and then face a conservative dull relationship. Hell no, I am not wired for such. I love healthy romance and that is how to get the best of me, in marriage, our baby should be a result of true love affair and not some baby-making dream. I don’t dream of marriage to make babies. People that matters so much to us usually walk away not because of infidelity but because we are conservative in our relationship, they keep giving us hints of where to improve and we remain resistant to change. Some may be able to condone constant neglects, some can’t. But no one wants to be with heartache forever.
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God bless you.
#GracefulGeorge

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