DEAR EX | IT’S BEAUTIFUL HERE

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In the mesmerizing aura of romance, we thought it would end like Walt Disney’s stories that always had a happy ending. Maybe it did had happy ending but not such happiness that is easier to dictate or such that existed in the Cinderella’s. We pushed harder even at odd times wanting to make it work, investing our time and resources to patch the holes but it kept leaking until it’s all gone. Seeing it all gone was my worst night mare but sometimes we just have to allow the night mares come so we can see they really aren’t dangerous if we choose to look at the other side. I have realized that when we are conscious in our dreams we can really tell where it goes.
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Some say if it is over, it never happened!
But me? I think the best way to deal with it is to admit it, learn from it and move on… If it is over, it happened but I’ve moved on with my school bag, graduating from it to another. Carrying on the lessons, making the choice of avoiding the mistakes and emulating the good things we had practiced. The only thing we are meant to carry over from the past is the lessons and not the hurts, bitterness and unforgivness.
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I cried thinking my tears would wrought magic, I fasted thinking it was the best way to treat my loss of appetite, I stayed indoor thinking everyone was a threat. Well, I finally emerged! .I never thought life would be this beautiful without you, I never thought I would still be this wholesome without you. Everything I had always thought, you were in it and I felt moving on would be impossible, I even felt suicide would be an option. Well, I was patient enough not to patronize the tree and the rope, I was patient enough to wait for that little light to blossom and believe me, even the beauty of life without you is a part of your contribution to my well being. At least, walking away was an opportunity to let me search again. I adore and respect the fact that you were part of my history and I respect the fact that your exit showed me I can truly live without anyone. I was created single, I can survive single then. You taught me that I must learn to be complete on my own.
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Some dreams are not meant to be fulfilled in an experience, they are not meant to be locked up at the mercies of just one experience because that dream can be big enough to transit towards other experiences. If I had always dreamed we can do this forever, it means all I have to do is to bring someone else to the picture at the right time and keep dreaming. It is not wrong to pause a dream, get out of the dream land and deal with the realities we are faced with. Ruth experienced it, she got separated from her husband! But Noami was kind enough to push her out of mourning… Didn’t Ruth get better? She was so better than in her past!
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Remember those beautiful words we shared together? Remember those moments we shared together? Remember those times we held hands together and walked on the path of promises? Yes! I don’t doubt it, we meant it but maybe we were never meant to fulfill all of our desires to ourselves, maybe it was just a rehearsal for something better. I was good but maybe you needed someone better… Maybe I needed something better than I ever knew too.
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I am happy you you are my ex, I am happy you crossed my path. Regardless of the circumstances facilitating the call-over, I am glad that in the history of our lives we crossed the path of each other and contributed our quotas. I am most happy that we can now apply the things we have learn, we can now sit at the mirror, look at our lives and put some touches. Seeing myself through the lens of your eyes made me better, I saw certain things that needed fixing and I fixed it. You saw my flaws and chose to manage it until they pushed you to the wall. Maybe you left because you got exhausted.
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For the love of the better one, I have moved on. I haven’t stopped adoring you, I haven’t stopped loving you but there can never be a turn around again. If it is possible, it is not the continuation of our story, it is a new book because this story ends here. We are not failures for giving up, we gave up because it wasn’t working and maybe we were just too fast that we never tried our best to make it work… Maybe our best was not good enough.
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Though it took me half a decade to get over the fears, it was worth it. I found someone better, I decided to break out and do it again.
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This fiction is written on behalf everyone finding it hard to let go of broken relationships. If it never worked, moving on isn’t cowardice or lack of faith. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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#GracefulGeorge

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